Oh, Dogs Just Wanna Have Fun
by Detouredbe
Summary: Due to my fascination with turning serious, suspenseful scenes in classic films into farce, I just had to do this. Neither Faline nor Bambi saw this coming, I tell you.


**Looking back on the dog attack scene in the original "Bambi" film, it didn't take me long to formulate this minor glitch in the plot, in my head. I'm actually surprised at how few "wack-job" Bambi fics there are, so hopefully this helps make up for that population shortage. The reference to Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" was simply so I wouldn't have to labour over a title.**

Terror is coursing through Faline as she runs hither and tither, trying to evade the hunting dogs who are savagely pursuing her. Cornered by them, she desperately leaps on top of a nearby ledge, looking back in panic and seeing the dogs bounding towards her, barking, leaping, and trying to reach her. Just as she is about to call to Bambi for help, her vicious assassin wannabes do the last thing she would have anticipated.

As if by magic, an easel appears behind the dogs, and one of them goes over, picks up a pen with his paw, and begins to sketch something on a sheet of paper propped up on the easel, facing away from Faline. She is far too puzzled to cry out for her lover now. As a matter of fact, she no longer has any idea what to make of the situation.

The dog quickly finishes his drawing and turns the easel around. Standing on his hind legs he gestures towards the sketching, looks hopefully at Faline, and barks. "Bark, bark! Bark, bark, BARK, bark, bark!"

Faline raises her eyebrow, slightly. A subtitle appears, and she examines the message. The translation of the dog's comment reads, "You're supposed to guess what it is!"

"Oh!" she exclaims, understanding what they're up to now. At least, she thinks she does. An odd variation of charades, it appears to be. "Hmmm… a bumblebee?"

The dogs all look at her, deadpan, then laugh in unison. The sketcher barks again. Faline reads the translation, "Try again."

"Um, a large _rock_, with a bee stuck on the _end_?"

The dog who drew the sketch rolls his eyes and barks, a little more frustrated. Translation: "Come on, this one's too easy! It's a zeppelin!"

"Oh," Faline says, then comments, "Well that's hardly fair; I don't even know what a zeppelin is!"

The dogs look at each other and nod, then another one barks at her. "Your turn," is apparently the message.

"Me?" Faline isn't certain exactly how to draw with the pen, but she steps down and approaches the easel nonetheless. She lifts the used paper back and uncovers a fresh sheet, picks up the pen in her mouth, tries to think of something to draw, and then goes for it.

Presently she finishes her drawing and turns the easel around, to show the dogs. They look at the drawing she's made (not too shabby for first try, either) of a buck. An easy guess, but it's her first time, so they humour her a little.

"Bark, bark, bark, ruff, bark!" One suggests. Translation? "I know, I know! It's a rabbit with a sunburn!"

Faline laughs upon reading that. "No, no, guess again!" She grins; she's starting to enjoy this game.

Another one "tries," providing the notion that it's a pond with twelve frogs back flipping above.

"Oh come on, you're just joking!" Faline laughs. "It's -" Just as she's about to say it, the subject she's portrayed happens on scene. "Bambi!"

"Faline, are you al - what… is going… on?" Bambi asks, surveying the real-life picture in front of him.

"Oh, we're just playing a game, Bambi! It's alright."

"But, but Faline? What about…" Bambi can't even think of how to finish that comment. One minute the dogs are savage, brutish attackers, then the next minute Faline's befriended them?

"Bark, ruff, ruff. Ruff, ruff, bark, BARK!" The dog who drew the original sketch explains, followed by a chorus of agreements.

Bambi frowns, not understanding any of it, but Faline nudges him gently. "Look at the subtitles, Bambi."

He does, and the translation reads: "Aw, we didn't really wanna hunt. Us dogs, we wanna have fun!"

"Yeah! Dogs just wanna have fun!"

Bambi looks curiously at Faline, who just giggles in her infectious way. Hearing that, Bambi relaxes and accepts that this isn't a wacky hallucination.

Just then a voice calls out, "Boys! Boys! Where are ya dang lazy mutts?" Suddenly the most feared creature ever to set foot in that forest comes from around the rocks, eyes blazing with irritation and impatience. Bambi and Faline instantly tense up again as Man shortens the distance between himself and them. He isn't paying attention to them, however, and why would he? The thrill of the hunt has been stifled. He will have to scold and rant at his dogs for an extended period of time for slacking off on the job, not to mention treating their prey, _his _prey, as playmates. Then they'll have to go back to camp and work the momentum up all over again. As it stands right now, the presence of the deer won't mean anything to him until then.

"What the by-dingy d'ya think yer doin'? I send y'off to catch'em deer, and you're _playin' _with'em instead!" The dogs whine and whimper, scampering around their master and trying to avoid his feet, should he kick any of them.

"With all due respect, sir," Faline defends the dogs, but Man interrupts her.

"Shut it!" he snaps over his shoulder, before proceeding to shoo his dogs away.

"Don't speak to her like that!" Bambi yells, preparing to charge at Man.

"Don't try anythin' on me, varmint! 'Member that I got this." Man motions to his rifle. Turning back to the dogs, he says, "Now git! Off w'ya. Now! Lousy flea-ridden mongrels… Worst of all, ya forced me ta show m'self onscreen, when y'know that ain't ever supposed ta happen!"

Watching the farcical hunting party depart, Faline turns to Bambi and whispers, "Those poor little things!"

"Yeah… I wonder what Walt's going to have to say about this!"

**The End.**

**AN: Because we all know Walt Disney would never have dreamed of putting something like that into the film. Ever. Well, I hope everyone enjoyed; I know I did! Although how or whether this would have affected the fire scene one can only guess…**


End file.
